Thursday, March 6, 2008

NWA Was Right

Begin Rant

Last night, I got a ticket from one of DC's finest, a Metropolitan Police Department officer on a bicycle in Eastern Market. This ticket was for obstructing a crosswalk. I was waiting for Jena to get a donut from Dunkin Donuts, and this sneaky guy rolled up on me and asked for my license and registration. The conversation went like so:

"Why do you need my license and registration?"

"Sir, are you familiar with DC's crosswalk law?"

"Yes, as far as it says I shouldn't be in a crosswalk. Sorry - I will move."

"No sir, don't move, just wait there."

"But what about the crosswalk? Are you seriously going to write me a ticket for sitting in a crosswalk for one minute?"

The policeman walks away, and comes back later with a ticket for a 'moving violation'. I told him "Thank you, the citizens of our city will sleep better knowing that this crosswalk is safe". Jena said something slightly less printable. This incident has raised numerous questions in my mind. Questions like:

"Why is it okay for police to park on the f**king sidewalk to eat at Dunkin Donuts thus obstructing pedestrian walkways (can't spell sideWALK without WALK), but it's not okay for me to be sitting in a running car, ready to move the car if I see someone?"

"Why isn't this a**hole looking for my stolen bike, or the damned crackhead who stole it?"

"Why was I issued a moving violation, when the entire premise of the violation was that I was sitting still?"

"Why couldn't he just ask me to move my car, instead of writing me a ticket?"

"Why do I want to live in a city that is so hellbent on making it hard to live in that city?"

My plan is to walk over to Eastern Market this weekend, to buy some flowers and some delicious foodstuffs from the market, then go take a picture of the sh**head cops parked on the sidewalk eating their donuts while they should be catching crackhead bike thieves (or perhaps even the serious criminals, of which there is no shortage in this city). I am going to mail in a copy of this picture with my dispute notification. I will still end up paying the ticket. Of this I am almost certain. At least they will have to, for a brief moment, acknowledge the ridiculousness of it all. People move to DC, bringing their tax dollars, and the government seems to be a bit greedy. That, and it's not even consistent. If you really want money, come ticket the churchgoers from MARYLAND, who flock to the church next to my house, parking illegally, double parking, etc. Honestly.

End Rant